Church In The Wild #007: Are you worthy of being followed?

Becoming a Better Leader at Home by Being Worthy of Being Followed by Your Wife

Leadership begins with submission—specifically, submission to Christ. As men, we often carry the responsibility of leading our families, but how can we expect to lead others if we aren’t first following the One who created us? God has given us a blueprint for leadership that starts with submitting to His will, leading ourselves, and becoming the men He designed us to be. When we align with this divine order, we naturally become the kind of men our wives and children can follow.

In Ephesians 5:25-27, Paul gives clear guidance: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy." This scripture points to a sacrificial love, a love that isn’t about power or dominance but about service, humility, and the kind of leadership that draws others in. It’s the kind of love that shapes how we lead, not just as husbands but as fathers and men of faith.

However, men often struggle with feeling disconnected from their wives. They wonder why the intimacy has faded or why the fire has gone cold. We scratch the surface of our potential, of who God made us to be, but never go deep enough to really understand it. If we’re going to lead well, we must first examine our own walk with God and become men worthy of being followed.

Let’s explore how this looks practically, breaking it down into pillars that can guide us in becoming the leaders our families need.

1. Filling Your Cup Daily with God’s Word

A man who is not grounded in God’s word will inevitably be swayed by the world’s distractions. Scripture is our compass. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." If we aren't consistently in the Word, we cannot effectively lead our families. Start every day by filling your heart and mind with Scripture. It’s through this connection with God that we receive clarity, wisdom, and the ability to lead with integrity.

2. Developing a Deep Relationship with God through Prayer and Worship

Prayer is more than just talking to God—it’s aligning your heart with His. If we aren’t cultivating a personal relationship with God, we will struggle to lead from a place of spiritual strength. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Daily time spent in prayer is essential to becoming a man who can lead well. Worship, too, reminds us of God’s greatness and shifts our focus from self-reliance to reliance on Him.

3. Building Your Body and Mind through Physical Discipline

God created our bodies to be temples, and taking care of them is an act of stewardship. Physical discipline—whether it’s running, weight training, or doing hard things—is a way to train not only our bodies but also our minds. When we push ourselves physically, we build mental resilience that translates into every area of life, including leadership. 1 Corinthians 9:27 says, "I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should." Our families need us to be strong—not just spiritually, but physically as well.

4. Building a Brotherhood of Accountability

Proverbs 27:17 teaches us, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Men are not meant to walk alone. We need a community of brothers who will hold us accountable, challenge us, and support us in our journey of faith and leadership. Find men who will walk with you through the struggles and triumphs, who will speak truth into your life without judgment or blame. A strong brotherhood will help keep you sharp and focused on God’s purpose for your life.

5. Serving Others with No Expectation of Return

True leadership is rooted in service. Jesus demonstrated this throughout His ministry, always putting the needs of others before His own. Matthew 20:28 says, "The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." If we want to lead our families well, we must serve them with humility and love. This means being present, helping without complaint, and putting their needs above our own. Serve your wife and children out of love, expecting nothing in return, and you will see your leadership grow in strength.

6. Dying to Self and Living for God’s Purpose

The world pulls us in many directions—toward wealth, fame, lust, and self-indulgence. But Jesus calls us to die to these desires. In Luke 9:23, He says, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me." As men, we are often tempted by things that distance us from God. Pornography, greed, and selfish ambition are just a few examples. Leading well means dying to these sins and replacing them with a pursuit of holiness. When we kill the desires of the flesh, we make space for God’s will in our lives.

7. Dating Your Wife with Intentionality

A strong marriage requires intentional effort. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should stop pursuing your wife. Continue to date her, love her, and invest in your relationship. Ephesians 5:28 instructs, "Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Plan date nights, surprise her, and show her that she is a priority. When your wife feels loved, cherished, and pursued, she will naturally feel more secure in your leadership.

8. Taking Care of Your Physical Health for Your Wife

Your physical health matters. Taking care of your body is not just about vanity—it’s about being the best version of yourself for your wife and family. When you feel strong and healthy, you are better equipped to serve, love, and protect. Your wife desires a man who takes pride in his health and appearance, not out of vanity, but out of a desire to be his best for her.

9. Loving Your Wife Unconditionally

Christ’s love for the church is unconditional. Likewise, our love for our wives should be unwavering, even when things aren’t perfect. Colossians 3:19 commands, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." No matter what challenges arise, lead with love and patience. When your wife sees that your love is constant and sacrificial, she will feel safe following your lead.

10. Challenging Your Wife to Be Her Best Self

Part of loving your wife is helping her grow into the woman God has called her to be. Encourage her, support her dreams, and challenge her to pursue her God-given purpose. Just as you seek to become the best version of yourself, push her to do the same. A strong leader lifts others up, and your wife should feel that you are her biggest supporter in her walk with God.

In closing, leadership in the home is not about authority or control—it’s about love, sacrifice, and submission to Christ. When we first submit to God, we position ourselves to lead well. Becoming a man worthy of being followed is not an overnight process, but by grounding yourself in God’s word, taking care of your physical and spiritual health, serving your family, and loving your wife unconditionally, you will become the leader God has called you to be.

As men, we must challenge ourselves daily to be better. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of our families and the generations to come. Let us lead with humility, strength, and unwavering faith, trusting that God will do the rest.