Church In The Wild Memo #005: How do we find our true selves in the midst of this very real “poser” feeling

Good morning, men.

This morning, I’ve decided to step aside and allow God to author this memo in partnership with me. To truly grasp the heart of this week's message, we need to take a step back to where it all began for us as men.

God created Adam from the dust of the earth, from the clay… in His image. Imagine that—every one of us carries the imprint of God. His essence flows through our veins. We were crafted with a vision, a purpose that came straight from God’s heart.

John Eldredge captures this moment beautifully in Wild at Heart when he writes, “Before Eve is drawn from Adam's side and leaves that ache that never goes away until he's with her, God gives Adam some instructions on the care of creation and his role in the unfolding story. It's pretty basic, and very generous. ‘You may freely eat any fruit in the garden except fruit from the tree of knowledge of Good and evil’ (Gen 2:16-17)."

God gave Adam a clear command, but He didn’t lay out the full consequences. Adam had no roadmap for what would happen if he disobeyed. Then comes the serpent, and Eve is tempted. Adam stands by, watching, frozen in passivity as the serpent speaks. Not only does he fail to protect her, but he also takes part in the disobedience.

When God returns and confronts them, Adam says:
"I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid." (Gen 3:10)

In that moment, Adam isn’t just ashamed of his actions—he’s ashamed of himself. He now sees himself as broken, exposed, less than what he was created to be. This is where the "poser" is born—the man who hides behind a façade, afraid to reveal who he truly is.

Adam had a choice. He was right there, shoulder to shoulder with Eve. He could have stepped in, protected her, fought for her, but instead, he remained passive. He flunked the test, and from that moment, opened himself to sin. And he hid.

John Eldredge says it well:
"We are all hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we were meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have to run off into the bushes."

It’s staggering to think that Adam, created in the very image of God, chose to hide rather than step into the greatness he was called to. But here’s the hard truth—we still do the same.

From the beginning, Adam started this journey of the "poser," and we’ve been walking that same path ever since.

So what does this mean for us today?

It means that deep within, we carry the same tension. We know we’re created for greatness. We feel the call to explore, to build, to conquer. Yet, far too often, we choose to hide. We shrink back, avoid risk, and remain unseen.

Every day, we repeat Adam’s sin. We avoid battles, stay in the shadows, and fail to rescue ourselves from the grip of the past. The world, our families, and even our peers expect more from us than we believe we can deliver.

For me, I wake up every morning with a fire in my heart—to be great, to be the man my wife and kids deserve. And then, moments later, I catch myself sitting in silence, staring at the wall, wondering…
Do I have what it takes? Can I really live up to this?

That’s the tension we all face. But what do we do about it?

How do we silence the "poser"?

I’ll share a few things that have helped me keep that false narrative at bay:

1. The Prayer Walk

Begin your day with a walk where you have a raw, honest conversation with God. Don’t pray the things you think you should say. Instead, lay it all out—your fears, doubts, and desires.

Here’s how my walk often goes:
"God, thank You for another day of life. As I walk, please walk with me. I want to show up today for my family, my friends, and most of all, for You. I feel strong, but I also feel like I’m not enough. Every time I turn a corner, I hit a setback. I know You’ve created me for greatness, but I doubt I can do the impossible. Give me the strength, wisdom, and confidence to face today. I can’t do it alone, but with You, I can. Walk with me, guide me, and help me see You today. Amen."

When I start my day with that foundation, I know I’m not walking alone.

2. Take Immediate Action

One thing I’ve noticed in men I admire is their ability to act quickly when prompted. The time between the idea and the first step is crucial.

Don’t delay. When God gives you a nudge—whether it’s to write, reach out, or act—do it immediately. The enemy will try to slow you down, making you overthink or second-guess yourself. Don’t let that happen.

The enemy knows if he can delay you, he can feed you doubts that grow into fear. Don’t give him that foothold.

The next time you feel that nudge from God, don’t hesitate. Act.

Start the business…

Start the new workout routine

Start the new morning routine

Start the “date night” each week with your spouse or love

Start the daily prayer with your spouse and kids

Start the new process that leads to increased revenue in your business

You get it the picture!

Final Thoughts

If you want to truly know who you are, ask God.

God, who am I? What have You placed me on this earth to do? What can I do today to move closer to Your plan for my life?

Then stop talking. Just listen.

I’ve been amazed at how often God shows up when we listen. Maybe it’s a song lyric that hits different, a book passage that stands out, or a conversation with a friend that shifts your perspective.

Brothers, God is always with us. Keep your eyes open—you’ll see Him.

Love ya fellaz!

I hope this impacts one of you…I know it’s been a powerful for me and many other Men I’ve known and now call friends.